So it has come to this...
I am afraid of 'the youth'. Not in an 'oh they're all so undisciplined, how dare they slouch about the streets on their alcopops and their internets' kind of way. But in an 'oh god how did I get this much older than them without commanding any of their respect' kind of way?
I refer to a specific incident which made me fume at how helpless I felt when I was in no way disadvantaged. I was out with two friends in Greenwich, we were walking through a park. There was a group of maybe eight teens, perhaps seventeen years old. Not that many, and not too threatening looking. But I had seen them pulling branches down off the trees and tearing up their leaves, so I was a bit disapproving. Then as we continued to walk out of the park, a stone came skittering past our feet. I turned around and, seeing the bunch of teens still behind us, gave them a scowl for throwing stones, which I think we all agree is usually a bad idea. The scowl, it seems, did not go unnoticed, and the next thing I knew, a large seed pod had smacked me in the back of the head. I immediately spun round and said 'please don't do that, you twats.' Which may be one of the strangest and sadly, bravest things I have done (more recently, I jumped off of a waterfall.) At least they hadn't thrown a stone at me. Suffice to say, nothing bad actually happened, and thankfully, one of the friends I was with is a teacher, so was more than adapted to getting rid of little shits. I suppose the feeling that affected me most of all was 'why does this happen?'
Why are we never too old to feel threatened or bullied when in reality, I'm an adult. At the very least, I can call the police. Or perhaps their parents. But these young people thought that it was okay to throw something at my head. Profoundly disturbing.
Next week: why I am afraid of the elderly.
Sunday 15 July 2012
Tuesday 10 July 2012
Insult to Injury
The other day I received this email:
"Dear Applicant,
I am glad to inform you that we have read your CV and that have made my shortlist. The next process now is to interveiw candidates which will take place in the next few weeks.
My name is Peter Cole and I am the HR Manager at SMG Recruitment.
I have attached the application form which can be found here APPLICATION FORM
Please unzip or extract the application form folder to be able to open it and fill out the application form and send it back to me.
The job we offer is a full time and part time positions with a flexible schedule. On average, the working hours will be 40hours (Monday to Friday).
If you are having problem with the link above, you can download the application form from the download link below
Download Link: https://www.box.com/s/
Sincerely,
Peter Cole"
Upon inspection, there is no Peter Cole, and no SMG Recruiters/Recruitment. The attachment is a virus. (What helped was noticing the awful grammar and that interview is spelt wrong.)
Among the many replies I get rejecting my job applications, this was an especially cruel blow. When you're job hunting, half of the graft becomes automatic: replying to emails, searching for jobs, filling in forms. It's difficult to keep track of all the random automated emails flying back and forth telling you you have applied and have or haven't succeeded. If this reminds me anything, it's that there is no bottom rung for some people.
If you are job hunting, please be careful. Every person you hear from should have a presence on LinkedIn and full contact details on their company web page, at the least. Finally, best of luck.
Monday 9 July 2012
Cracked veneers
So, the website Cracked, which if you aren't familiar, is a purveyor of most things hilarious in a vague list-format. And there are funny pictures and such.
They recently posted that they are looking for writers. Having the posting opened on 26th June, and the page has had nearly 600 pages of responses and counting. The aim of the game, from a Cracked perspective, is probably not really to get new writers. It's about a little thing called footfall.
Now, I would love to write for Cracked. If you get published, the pay is good. I don't even consider myself funny, but I'd be willing to give it a try and will probably sign up today to find out what happens. However, what worries me is the sheer scale of people who are also replying. This is an internet-wide demographic, and writers will do anything for money, because generally they don't have any (and we need our booze). There were, in amongst the throngs of people saying how keen they were to write for Cracked, people saying they had never received the golden confirmation that they could try to actually write something for Cracked.
Mainly, I assume, because a few people cannot keep up with the admin of registering the influx of thousands of emails. But, I wonder. This is all websites want. Your blood. Well, okay, your email. But it means they snag you in a more meaningful way than if you just read their stuff. They own part of your ass then. And this campaign, however true it is, appears to have snagged them approaching a million casual visitors to commit in digi-pen-and-ink.
Well played, Cracked.
They recently posted that they are looking for writers. Having the posting opened on 26th June, and the page has had nearly 600 pages of responses and counting. The aim of the game, from a Cracked perspective, is probably not really to get new writers. It's about a little thing called footfall.
Now, I would love to write for Cracked. If you get published, the pay is good. I don't even consider myself funny, but I'd be willing to give it a try and will probably sign up today to find out what happens. However, what worries me is the sheer scale of people who are also replying. This is an internet-wide demographic, and writers will do anything for money, because generally they don't have any (and we need our booze). There were, in amongst the throngs of people saying how keen they were to write for Cracked, people saying they had never received the golden confirmation that they could try to actually write something for Cracked.
Mainly, I assume, because a few people cannot keep up with the admin of registering the influx of thousands of emails. But, I wonder. This is all websites want. Your blood. Well, okay, your email. But it means they snag you in a more meaningful way than if you just read their stuff. They own part of your ass then. And this campaign, however true it is, appears to have snagged them approaching a million casual visitors to commit in digi-pen-and-ink.
Well played, Cracked.
Friday 6 July 2012
Shar'd disappointment
Maybe using a Shakespearean truncation as a pun doesn't quite work, but the Independent already used 'Shard done by', so what am I to do?
Well, I admit, I really like the Shard. I think it's beautiful. Alright, so it's a monument to phallocentricism in architecture, and how skyscrapers are erections spunking humankinds' dominance over the fragile skyline. I also dislike how there is one, just one, apartment at the top worth £50 million. Housing being the over-priced quagmire that it is anyway, this is hardly a venue borne out of need. But I think it's an achievement in architecture, and potentially a valuable source of revenue for local window-cleaners.
So why the laser show? I've seen better lighting at a Foo Fighters' concert, and there was music to listen to then as well. At what point in London's glorious weather conditions would a high-rise laser show have been expected to look spectacular anyway? Londoners were told to look for this:
This, however, in a HDR photo, which only camera technology can produce. Residents on the lookout described nothing more than some twinkly lights.
I'm very worried about the Olympic opening ceremony, let's put it that way.
Well, I admit, I really like the Shard. I think it's beautiful. Alright, so it's a monument to phallocentricism in architecture, and how skyscrapers are erections spunking humankinds' dominance over the fragile skyline. I also dislike how there is one, just one, apartment at the top worth £50 million. Housing being the over-priced quagmire that it is anyway, this is hardly a venue borne out of need. But I think it's an achievement in architecture, and potentially a valuable source of revenue for local window-cleaners.
So why the laser show? I've seen better lighting at a Foo Fighters' concert, and there was music to listen to then as well. At what point in London's glorious weather conditions would a high-rise laser show have been expected to look spectacular anyway? Londoners were told to look for this:
I'm very worried about the Olympic opening ceremony, let's put it that way.
Thursday 5 July 2012
Higgs 'like a Boss'-on NOW WITH VIDEO
The Higgs Boson, or a particle demonstrating almost exactly what they were looking for when it was theorised, has been found. It's like some kind of fairytale dream. The particle that gives mass to all other particles is actually real.
The Higgs Boson Explained from PHD Comics on Vimeo.
Massive, massive congratulations to Higgs. It's a new age, where wars, and trials, and now science colloquiums, can be broadcast live, revealing the true amount of effort and emotion that this undertaking involved.
And I apologise for use of the slogan 'God particle'. I say slogan because it's a really, really silly way to try and understand the particle. Partly because, y'know, those overly enthused by the existence of God probably don't feel that we needed to find it in the first place. I'm being mean, of course, but 'God particle' is just a name, like the word 'God' itself. Except that this is real and here and 99.9999% proven to be one of the reasons why the universe works the way it does! Yeah!
Next: supersymmetry. Something I myself can barely spell.
The Higgs Boson Explained from PHD Comics on Vimeo.
Massive, massive congratulations to Higgs. It's a new age, where wars, and trials, and now science colloquiums, can be broadcast live, revealing the true amount of effort and emotion that this undertaking involved.
And I apologise for use of the slogan 'God particle'. I say slogan because it's a really, really silly way to try and understand the particle. Partly because, y'know, those overly enthused by the existence of God probably don't feel that we needed to find it in the first place. I'm being mean, of course, but 'God particle' is just a name, like the word 'God' itself. Except that this is real and here and 99.9999% proven to be one of the reasons why the universe works the way it does! Yeah!
Next: supersymmetry. Something I myself can barely spell.
Monday 2 July 2012
Goodnight Sweet Troll
Ongoing argument with boyf:
Me - Trolling is bad and pointless.
Him - Trolling is supposed to be like that.
He is a tad more eloquent than that. But, honestly, the media has discovered the word trolls and, like everything else spawned on the slightly more shadowy corners of the internet, has failed to 'get it'.
There is a difference between trolling and out-and-out abuse. Trolling may sink exceptionally low every so often, but it is there for a reason - to provoke someone. This may be, for example, the use of the word 'faggot' to disrupt a heated and earnest online debate. It may be far more directed and personal-seeming, but it usually revolves around one thing: derail your opponent.
It can be between friends or it can be in the glorious Anon-ymity of a forum, but with trolling, all you hope is that someone, somewhere, will rise to the bait and instead of getting even, will get mad. The precept is, no one has superiority. At some point or another, a mindless or abusive statement will tip anyone over the edge from reasoned, sensible human being to maddened idiot who will only undo themselves more in attempting a reply. And oh, that's exactly what they want.
Stealing someone's identity to defame them is defamation. Abusing someone or spreading malicious rumours and comments is bullying or libel. And misuse of the word trolling makes me want to literally huff off under a bridge and grind small children's bones to make my bread. Just, just... oh. They've totally trolled me.
Me - Trolling is bad and pointless.
Him - Trolling is supposed to be like that.
He is a tad more eloquent than that. But, honestly, the media has discovered the word trolls and, like everything else spawned on the slightly more shadowy corners of the internet, has failed to 'get it'.
There is a difference between trolling and out-and-out abuse. Trolling may sink exceptionally low every so often, but it is there for a reason - to provoke someone. This may be, for example, the use of the word 'faggot' to disrupt a heated and earnest online debate. It may be far more directed and personal-seeming, but it usually revolves around one thing: derail your opponent.
It can be between friends or it can be in the glorious Anon-ymity of a forum, but with trolling, all you hope is that someone, somewhere, will rise to the bait and instead of getting even, will get mad. The precept is, no one has superiority. At some point or another, a mindless or abusive statement will tip anyone over the edge from reasoned, sensible human being to maddened idiot who will only undo themselves more in attempting a reply. And oh, that's exactly what they want.
Stealing someone's identity to defame them is defamation. Abusing someone or spreading malicious rumours and comments is bullying or libel. And misuse of the word trolling makes me want to literally huff off under a bridge and grind small children's bones to make my bread. Just, just... oh. They've totally trolled me.
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